01 February, 2009
i wanna be a tiger at the zoo.
zoo animals are some of the laziest things known to man. and you know who likes being lazy dont you? that right. me. i could do that tigers job no problem. sign me up. but you know what animal is lazier than the zoo tiger? the zoo bear. jeeesus. lazy. so lazy. fat slobs take forever to move. but if i was zoo bear...i would eat every human i possibly could. what would they do. kill you. nope. cause people would flip out if a zoo killed a zoo bear. so i would eat everyone. then become the first zoo bear warden. and reign over the zoo. no one could stop me. no one. you think a zoo tiger is going to stop me. ha. those lazy creatures. im glad i decided to be a zoo bear than a zoo tiger. even though being lazy is good and all. a zoo bear gets to kill people and have a chance at running a zoo. without even learning how to speak a language any human could understand. but that doesnt matter. cause as zoo bear master i run supreme. i dont listen to no stinking human. i might listen to their bones snapping underneath my awesome teeth eating power. but thats it. i run the zoo.
but when i was younger i did get see a tiger peeing in his cage and was getting the people in the front row wet with piddle drips. that was cool...alright tiger. you got me. you can live. and be vice zoo animal warden. shoot me.