over it. again.

you can uncross those fingers now. aint nothing you can do about it.

i forgot what i was going to say.

i guess these will be easter elephants in honor of the easter bunny. that means its cadbury creme egg season. eating just one of those eggs a year is enough....but three would be plenty. and four is pushing it...ill settle for two. thats it. two a year.

a whiskey and nacho night.

i have recently discovered a taco bell right up the street from my place. and it happens to stay open until two am. which is awesome. for now. 99 cent seven layer nachos. cant go wrong. the o button on my computer is going. it doesnt work too well anymore. but i woke up and this painting was hanging out on my desk. and so was an empty nacho tray. i remember eating the nachos more than doing the painting. and the nachos were way better than this painting looks. so im sorry i couldnt have nachos to give you. to make up for this here lousy bearded guy in shock. thats how i do shocked. bad.

oh boy

even with fuzzy point and shoot happening. my crummy lil point and shoot is still my main arty taker maker show-er thing. until i fix my scanner. or turn it on to see if it still works. it might. it might not. maybe i should turn it on. if the next few posts are blurry...means either my scanner crapped the bed. or i didnt make anything new for a while. and am using old junk. it happens.

why would something so pretty want to love someone so ugly

i mean. he's bald. bald. you know gross being bald is. gross. oh man. i dont ever want to go bald. i couldnt imagine. all the stares people that people stare at you with. whispering things about you behind your back about not having any hair on your head . oh no. look at the bald guy. ha ha. that guy has no hair. yea. being bald would probably rank up there to being worst nightmare come true. ever. that and being killed by sharks.

ive seen paris in the winter and you are still the prettiest thing that i have ever seen.

i wish i knew how to paint. it would make painting so much easier. imagine. being able to paint things you wanted to paint. and having it turn out just like the thing you were trying to paint. that would be awesome. that would mean you are good at something. one day. one day.

anyone need a friend. im pretty quiet. and can fit in most spaces. plus i will sell me for real cheap.

no? alright...well then maybe ill just make a house in the woods. and befriend some bears for the next several years and then get mauled to death by the very same bears that i had befriended for the last several years. i love the wilderness. or maybe i will move into my own room in a house near downtown la and start painting. things. i guess i will choose the latter. because thats what has happened. hooray. i love you.

old news buddy. old news.

this one kind of speaks for its self. itself. yeah.

i once lived in a house containing for parrots. FOUR fucking PARROTS. man. you cannot believe how incredibly shitty it was. waking up to four little fuckers screaming their heads off. even wearing headphones and having multiple walls between us couldnt stop the wrath of a parrots voice. then you have to go outside. and deal with more birds. they want your food. they try to crap on you. its awful. just awful. what cities should do is pay bums. by the pound. to kill birds and get paid for it. have you ever been to san francisco. well they have an excess of birds. surely a couple of bums with bb guns going around killing pigeons wont hurt anything or anyone. and they will have a job. and food. if they really feel hungry that day. its a win win for everyone. lunchers can eat in peace. the noise level will drop. and pooped on windshields will have a new outlook on their life as a windshield.

the good old days...last year sometime

sometime during the month may of last year i found myself an active member of an arizona death metal band. and we were quite possibly one the best death metal bands around. it included steve and topher and me. we all screamed. and i played guitar. and chris played electronic 'wave in the air' drum sticks. and in fact it was not so widely known that we were the best death metal band to ever form during the month of may. in arizona. of all time. its not an easy thing to do but we did it. so what our career lasted for less than eight minutes. i know our presense was felt. and i know our neighbors heard it. and if they didnt. i at least know steves wife heard it. she was in the living room.

http://ssfnr.blogspot.com/2008/10/dismembered-tortoise.html

to protect the innocent

boobs are a pretty personal thing to talk about. so we have covered up the face of this fine young beautiful crayon drawing so no one would recognize her face. and you would totally notice her if we didnt. cause she really is beautiful...if you want to hang out with me i would greatly appreciate it. i am half lonely.

its gonna be a long time...

some much needed words of encouragement

not all days can be good days. so just sit back. close your eyes and tell yourself how awesome you are. you are awesome. then say to yourself. self. you are doing a good job. well done self. you deserve a pat on your back. and maybe some beef jerky.
but you dont deserve it. you arent doing a good job. in fact. you are doing a bad job. and you are not awesome. way to go self. now you dont get any beef jerky...or a pat on your back.

i didnt get an enchilada.

or manage to make it to titos. so i threw up instead. but barfing also happens to be awesome. so it kind of evens things out. because barfing means that i was drunk. and i was drunk. and i had an audience to perform for. which always helps the kfc come up that much easier. i also realized that i havent thrown up in a toilet for a long time. i prefer to do my puking outside. over a fence or rail. just so there isnt any sort of vomit backlash to get all over your feet and or pants. because i puked on my lap once. and it wasnt that fun.

getting buffer everyday

i have decided to start working out and getting in shape. i do nothing all day. but sit around. and since i stay at james house more often than not and he has a gym in the complex i have taken it upon myself to get myself into some sort of a shape. i havent been in a gym to work out since high school physical education class when it was a requirement for the students to take an interest in buffness. i have no interest in buff dudes. or buff chicks. maybe i wont be going to the gym anymore. im going to sit here on the couch under the influence of a certain drug known as pot and wait for james to come down the stairs so we can go to titos tacos. TITOS TACOS IS AWESOME. but if have you ever tried the enchiladas at titos. they are not very tasty but i have become smitten with them and cannot refuse it. i simply will not. maybe it is the drug that makes me hungry like them. or maybe i just like the abuse. but i am getting an enchilada today. and it will be delicious. it is james birthday today. wish him happy birthday.

i think i have a future.

i fed my pet hamster a bunch of heroin once. and he was very cool. no. i never had a hamster. thats not true. i had a hamster and it bit someone. so i let it go. so long little fella. stay strong in the cold los angeles summer. i havent thought of that hamster in years. there really is no reason to think about a hamster. they really arent that cool. unless they do heroin. like my hamster did. i miss you buddy come back soon. i will leave the door unlocked and the light on for you...how long do hamsters live for. cause that was over a decade ago. more than a decade. lil buddy has to be dead. heroin will do that to you. i will see you soon you little evil biting hamster.

im so vain...

yes this pictures about me. no. its actually about you. my own self portrait of you. have you ever seen me in person. eesh. this drawing makes me look way too good. almost hot. like paris hilton hot. not fergie hot. cause shes ugly. very ugly. so this cant be a self portait. cause that dude is way too hot.

if it were only this easy

will someone please come bludgeon my head for me. i cant bring myself to buy a pick axe and do it myself. so i want you to do it.

you are a bird. and meaner than hell.

a sharpie drawing on a sharpie box. i dont stray too far. wanna see me naked. pervert.

mellow out man...you're too drunk.

i dont think i have ever been puked on by another person. which im kind of glad about. but i dont think it would be the worst thing ever. you could get crapped on. though i did puke on the floor of my room once and all i could do was muster up a stare to my roomate and then roll over and go back to bed. i wished i had cleaned it then...or not have puked to begin with. but then i wouldnt have been drunk. and i wanted to be drunk. because i was drunk. which leads me to believe i wanted to be drunk in the first place. did you know puke will make your room stink for a several weeks? who would have thought.

i wanna be a tiger at the zoo.

zoo animals are some of the laziest things known to man. and you know who likes being lazy dont you? that right. me. i could do that tigers job no problem. sign me up. but you know what animal is lazier than the zoo tiger? the zoo bear. jeeesus. lazy. so lazy. fat slobs take forever to move. but if i was zoo bear...i would eat every human i possibly could. what would they do. kill you. nope. cause people would flip out if a zoo killed a zoo bear. so i would eat everyone. then become the first zoo bear warden. and reign over the zoo. no one could stop me. no one. you think a zoo tiger is going to stop me. ha. those lazy creatures. im glad i decided to be a zoo bear than a zoo tiger. even though being lazy is good and all. a zoo bear gets to kill people and have a chance at running a zoo. without even learning how to speak a language any human could understand. but that doesnt matter. cause as zoo bear master i run supreme. i dont listen to no stinking human. i might listen to their bones snapping underneath my awesome teeth eating power. but thats it. i run the zoo.
but when i was younger i did get see a tiger peeing in his cage and was getting the people in the front row wet with piddle drips. that was cool...alright tiger. you got me. you can live. and be vice zoo animal warden. shoot me.

this is what happens when happy hour turns into happy hours.

a sunset. very important stuff.


this is what its going to look like when robots take over. and by robots i mean computers.


a lovely decapitation scene.


and this is where the porn industry is going.


and this is a man. i think caitie likes beards. a lot.

even though this was done well before we met.

dream BIG

shoot for the stars...shes all yours.

maybe tomorrow...

maybe tomorrow you'll love me too.

its true.

and you cant teach a dog new tricks either. unless you threaten to beat it. and then do beat it.

diddy aint got nothin on these doodles...

i work thirty two hours a week for just under 280 dollars but over 275. thumbs up world. my job will suck the soul right out of you. its already got a hold of mine. but i do get to go wander sometimes. and that can lead to good things. sometimes.
a borrowed camera is my new scanner. my life is ON track. we should hang out and you can buy me a bedroom. so i can sleep.

fan boy.

i have owned each one of these fans at some point in my life. i dont possess a fan any more. or a bed for that matter.

tomorrow is a big day for me.

not really.





sort of.




crummily shot art. very hi tech. very.

good and evil and evil.

rejoice. rejoice rejoice. andrew jackson jihad tuesday...wahoo. i think i might attend. probably. if i dont forget first. i might forget. but i might not. but i probably will. but hopefully not. cause i would like to go. maybe. things change. who knows. do you? probably. not.

the ex-presidents...are surfers!

you tell em gary.

ITS A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont want a baby. i did want one once. but three seconds later i changed my mind. they cry and poop. and cost money. lots of things cost money. but there are things that are way cooler than babies and cost less too. i would rather own those things. whatever those things are.

chris angel sucks. butt.

i suck at magic. cant do it. cant understand it. dont wanna understand it either. card magic is the worst. im retarded with cards. i did have a bunny tho. it lasted about four days. i even went out and bought a dirt devil to pick up the little bunny poo and everything. and then...my then roommates dog decided it wanted to kill lil old batman. now batman is dead. bunnies are magic.